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trinity

Bi polar

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trinity

Anyone been involved with someone suffering from this or at least has suspicion of it?

How would you tackle telling the person that they are fragmented mentally its literally unbelieveable?

I liken it to listening in on a inner conversation of torment. I haven't taken anything personally on the whole matter, although it can leave you dumbfounded as to your own sanity. Luckily there has been third party input into communication between us both to which the multiple verdict was that she was 'unstable'.

Love to hear from any experiences

Edited by trinity

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2earls

I suspected that my husband suffered from this back before we were married. Wild mood swings and he would work himself into such a depressive state that he would go to bed for a day and a half.

Needless to say, it caused a lot of problems with our relationship and I asked him to seek professional help. He did, was put on Prozac, and gradually improved.

He still has some of the manic aspects, but that's bearable. Having those "fits" was not. I'm grateful that he was willing to do something about it and I am sure he's a happier human being for it. He also has a family history of this problem.

If your person has this, they have to be aware that something is different about them. I suppose the hard part can be getting them to admit it. My MIL came to my aid in convincing him to get help. We did it as lovingly as possible.

I wish you all the best in tackling a difficult situation. The approach of "I care about you and don't want to see you suffer " is better than "you are just a crazy motherf"#$&*". I'm sure I said both.

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trinity
6 hours ago, 2earls said:

I suspected that my husband suffered from this back before we were married. Wild mood swings and he would work himself into such a depressive state that he would go to bed for a day and a half.

Needless to say, it caused a lot of problems with our relationship and I asked him to seek professional help. He did, was put on Prozac, and gradually improved.

He still has some of the manic aspects, but that's bearable. Having those "fits" was not. I'm grateful that he was willing to do something about it and I am sure he's a happier human being for it. He also has a family history of this problem.

If your person has this, they have to be aware that something is different about them. I suppose the hard part can be getting them to admit it. My MIL came to my aid in convincing him to get help. We did it as lovingly as possible.

I wish you all the best in tackling a difficult situation. The approach of "I care about you and don't want to see you suffer " is better than "you are just a crazy motherf"#$&*". I'm sure I said both.

Trying to come from a place of empathy but its wearing thin. Its trying my patience.

I haven't bitten to anything over the last 3 months. Her logic is literally dumb founding. I know that women operate on an emotional level but this is crackers.

I have started to (if I haven't already) turn off my emotions toward her. Never want to see any harm or anything bad happen to her, as many years ago I loved her but what is left in the shell now after her father passing is reminiscent of the former person. Back then there was hints of 'indecisiveness' I called it, now its just full blown "hello" and then "goodbye" the next day.

She hopefully will go see a bereavement counsellor.

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Jools

I am in that kind of relationship right now. When we met she was literally at least half the person she was, was motivated and has an incredibly keen intellect and high IQ. New relationships always seem to habe that honeymoon period but then, around 9 months later, I noticed small things like fake social media profiles and the ability to lie beyond any normal point. Wihout going into the whole story, she had manufactured a fake Facebook profile of a guy and this guy was a supposed rival for her affections. What she has forgotten is that I had built computer systems and had learned how to set up fake IP and the like. I actually caught her, without her knowledge, writing herself a lobe letter from this "guy" to herself. I didn't wait and just confronted her with this and even showed her where both emails and messages had originated from yet she still kept up the lie, just like a small child would do. I realised that she was never going to admit her own problems. 

She got very comfortable living with me and started to eat, to eat a lot. She put on over 8-9 Stomes in weight. This is some 105-114 pounds, stopped taking showers and stayed in bed until around 15:00 at least. She would then follow an almost religious pattern of having an argument with someone, via telephone, every day then she would eat breakfast of cake with ice cream but obviously her weight was a thyroid problem lol

in all honesty it got too much. I had supported her so many times, taken her to doctors and psychiatrists and more but she ALWAYS managed to turn any possible positive meeting into a slanging match and was shown the door. She is light and day, very literally. I tried everything I,possibly could bjtnthe nasty remarks, jealousy of any other wo,an even daring to talk,to me and general hygiene wwere too much. I got her to,leave a few weeks ago now. She pops in and we are friendly. The other thing,. She falsely claimed to be my carer and has claimed careers allowance since mid 2015. This meant falsifying my signature and saying that she did housework,cooked, cleaned and generally looked after me 

Bi polar is what the GP,has called it but the more I read on this, the more it follows the path of borderline personality disorder. It does seem that one can lead to the other. 

I am now grateful not to habe the drama to deal,with. 

 

You have my sympathy and empathy  @trinity

i really could write so much more but will leave it at that  I never could have believed that anyone can change and so dramatically  I am now jjsy happy to wake up to a clean house and with my cats  I think I am done with relationshiosmnowm I domvalue my solititide  many ask if I am lonely but I really am not  I can get company when I feel like it  right now I am genuinely happy being alone 

Wiahing you the best of luck fella 

 

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PTFC

@Jools and everyone, I think it's important to note the difference between being alone and being lonely. Not to insult anyone's intelligence, you put it very well Jools, and yourself @blissopifree 2.

I hope things work out for you @trinity, keep on that positive path, let no-one pull you down mate!

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Jools
22 hours ago, PTFC said:

@Jools and everyone, I think it's important to note the difference between being alone and being lonely. Not to insult anyone's intelligence, you put it very well Jools, and yourself @blissopifree 2.

I hope things work out for you @trinity, keep on that positive path, let no-one pull you down mate!

Well said @PTFC. I have only truly alone when my brothers and parents died. That was the worst and darkest time of my life, so far. As human beings we ALL face certain and in common things. Loss, fear, existential loneliness and we often walk a path that is neither here nor there 

The best advice I had given me and relevant to this. If you are not truly happy within yourself then you will NEVER EVER find that in another person. What you will get is just temporary relief and, for some, this really is enough and you can see them everywhere you go. Age doesn't matter in this group. You will see them, in pubs or gyms mainly, moving onto their next conquest. Personally I cannot live this way and learned this fairly early on. I am grateful of that lesson. 

Its the inner journey that brings the biggest rewards or that has been my experience of this, to this point and at 53 years old and recently on my own again. We have remained friends though so that is something I've not experienced before. I will add just one more Polish proverb, one that my father used often. Those who dig holes for others will fall into them themselves. 

In closing. I have times where I thoroughly enjoy company but mainly I have grown to enjoy my own company now. I don't feel lonely very much now. I guard my solitude and make sure that I give myself a good amount of that. I find being around too many people very fatiguing and I always have to come back to "myself" to gain my balance and equilibrium back. Maybe it's an age thing and because I am now just turned 53 but, on the whole, I am happier and more often than I am unhappy. I know it's so very cliche but each day as it comes. I have never known the loneliness that came with losing my family before & I would not wish that upon anyone and I mean even those who became enemies. @trinity I am not in the know here but in the mails I have shared with you, you come across as a well adjusted and balanced man. I am a firm believer in what goes around comes around and I am only now realising that I have had some really nice things happen but I didn't know it at the time and because I was blinded to the acts of kindness by the hatred and fear I was carrying, like my own personal millstone  

I certainly wish you and all who have to deal with mentally ill and sick people, all the very best indeed  

yes, the highways of lost souls that need not be lost if only they would reach out a hand  I still believe that there are more good people than bad and so I feel positive for the future  it's a shame that I've been had a few times both financially and in trust but I refuse to allow those bad experiences to turn me cold. I've no doubts that  I will be had again and will probably fall for someone who really is not right for me but I believe there is a lesson to be learned in each of these experiences 

sorry for the essay  Here endeth the lesson 

peace 

 

Edited by Jools
Autocorrect and additional text
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DippityDoo
On ‎11‎/‎1‎/‎2016 at 0:42 PM, Jools said:

Bi polar is what the GP,has called it but the more I read on this, the more it follows the path of borderline personality disorder.

The behavior you describe of her setting up fake profiles to create jealous drama and the exquisite ease and frequency with which she lies right to your face is deeply concerning, and probably just the tip of the iceberg of concerning behavior you witnessed.  Forging your signature to fraudulently qualify for government benefits is not only a personal betrayal of trust but could get her in serious criminal trouble, during which she'd probably blame YOU as the "real" criminal.  She is dangerous because she has no fear of danger, no fear of risk and no fear of consequences.

Not all bipolars are sociopaths and vice-versa, but it appears she suffers from both.  My limited understanding is that not all bipolar disorder symptoms are the same, that there are degrees of symptoms that fall along a spectrum of severity.  Some bipolar sufferers can care for themselves, attend college, hold a job, etc, with medication and counseling.  Others' symptoms are debilitating to the point of preventing safe independent living.   Further, bipolar disorder does not destroy a conscience where one already exists.  Bipolar symptoms, both manic and depressive, can make one behave selfishly, erratically, unsafely and unreasonably, but it doesn't make one inherently cruel where cruelty was not already a facet of one's character and does not make one a reflexive natural habitual liar.

As far as her overeating, tremendous weight gain and cessation of personal hygiene; that could come from a combo of triggers:   A.  She could be broken and empty inside and is trying to fill an emotional hole that all the food in the world cannot fill.  B.  She's gaining weight unwittingly as a protective shield against sexual contact.  I'd be curious if she was sexually abused as a child and the damage from such abuse is still affecting her as an adult.

Her repeated blaming of everyone else for her emotional, physical and psychiatric issues makes therapeutic intervention near impossible and thus allows her the freedom to never take responsibility for her own well-being.  I believe you are lucky to have been able to end that relationship.  If her current friendship graduates to stalking, you must take action by recording evidence of such and filing police reports as a matter of record.

I'm so very sorry that what started out as such a promising relationship with a rational, very intelligent woman ended up being a rather frightening and dangerous relationship once she dropped her initial façade of "normal."  That's one thing sociopaths and psychopaths excel at; pretending to be "normal," charming, rational, responsible and caring. 

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Jools

@trinity  I can surely relate to that though I am not able to say I've evolved to any stable level as such. Unfortunately I can still get dragged down to the gutter and am sometimes reactive. I am however working on this &  those who knew me 20 years ago would not recognise the me I've become now. I disappoint myself at times but those times are Lesser now and I am a much more balanced and stable person than I could ever have dreamed. 

It does seem that I am drawn to the broken, mentally unwell and hurt people in life though and some of the most interesting people I've met have been deeply flawed. It's such a shame I am unable to mend them. 

The woman I talk of in my previous post, this thread made me really think about this situation. We had been together and split around 3 times before but I have now fully ended it. I am 53 and have a lot of life experiences that I share willingly. It's just come to a point where there is no point in carrying on. Selfishly, my thought process was saying it was better to have her around for when I get sick. I am unable to use a phone or get out of bed when I am at my worst and the disease is life threatening and life limiting but, in reading this I got some perspective and @DippityDoo also made some valid points that made me realise it was going nowhere and was a destructive and hurtful relationship. One where both parties really had nothing left for the other albeit for very different reasons. I ended it yesterday and am now dealing with the hate filled venom of her texts and messages. 

I can look at myself and honestly say I did her good. She is now a much stronger and independent woman to the scared and introverted wallflower I met but I can never be sure that all of it was and is one continual loop and is how she "operates" & is intact her MO. I just knew I had to be away from her and this meant even as a friend. She is one of those psychic vampires you talk of and I am done with having my peace, love and trust abused and mistreated. She did very well out of me but this is ended now. No more. 

There are drains and radiators. Drains will take ALL you have from you and then the radiators will shine and give off such brightness and joy. I hope that before I leave this plane of existence that I get to experience a relationship with a radiator type. Lord knows I've had my share of drains. I am not bitter though so that is a big plus point and shows I have really grown and not just think so. I am just feeling such relief right now. I didn't realise just how much this was taking from me and it may well have been making the disease worse, i fact I am sure it did

Thsnk you for this and thank you for your wise words and for sharing your insight. Thank you @DippityDoo for helping me see the potential mine field ahead. I DO appreciate it

Time to try and piece myself together, to rebalance and to just be a human "being"

Blessings on you all

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trinity
26 minutes ago, Jools said:

It does seem that I am drawn to the broken, mentally unwell and hurt people in life though and some of the most interesting people I've met have been deeply flawed. It's such a shame I am unable to mend them. I talk of in my previous post, this thread made me really think about this situation.

Change your perception. Its your perception which creates your reality. Universal law of like attracts like..

You put out the feeling of broken, mentally unwell and hurt those are the things you will manifest. Its 100% accurate as we have seen for sometime now.

Have a read of this, its life altering if already on the path: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1401904599/?tag=mh0a9-21&hvadid=8873776733&hvqmt=e&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_49f8ihaqgs_e

Edited by trinity
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Jools

@trinity  thank you very much. I fully admit that what you say is 100% correct. I find it close to impossible to give off anything else and because I spend an inordinate amount of time in hospitals and with my GP. Each time I feel I've moved forward then something physical has manifested itself to nullify this. I have, on many occasions, wondered if I am making this happen due to my mindset & I do believe this to be the case. For instance and example. I will make plans to meet someone a couple of weeks ahead. You can bet that I get ill either the day before or on the actual day. It's bizarre ! 

I am now at an impasse. Is it actually me that is making me ill ? I am being serious btw. I know the diseases are real but I can't help but wonder if I created them ? 

Without going into an essay, family life was full of drama. Mum certainly created a Munchenhausens by proxy kid, no doubt on that. She was very much a very typical Polish Jewish matriarch and ruled the house. My father ( poor guy) was always at work so we never really bonded until his late 70's through his 80's but i am so grateful that it did happen. I can't help but wonder what would have been the outcome had my two eldest brothers been separated and been with "normal" families ? You see, I believe that the addiction and early death of both was also down to the constant drama and awful way in which mum never had the ability to keep her feuds and arguments private & she actively got each of us to back her up. I know one shouldn't speak ill of the dead and it hurts me to do so,of all of us, I can certainly be called mamas boy. It's a long and convoluted story but I ended up coming home from probably the best time in my life, to care for both parents until their deaths and it took so much from me that I really don't think i will ever fully heal. I saw things and heard things, dealt with the visceral reality of bodies and death too many times. I buried my brothers and parents with no help from anyone & am still paying that off both financially and mentally. 

The irony here is that the one brother that escaped to Chicago has now seriously attempted suicide twice yet he got away from the drama I talk of. There is obviously more to this but I am trying not to bore and take up too much time. I believe we were all damaged at such an important time that it doesn't really matter where we run to, to get away from this. As Bob Marley sang "  you can't run away from yourself" & " who feels it knows it Lord"

I am still a work in progress and I can feel sorry for myself and this absolutely MUST stop if i am to live much longer. I love to read and was only telling @PTFC that I've not really been spending much time on here or on any computer because I've been back to my books. If you can recommend any good reads then please do so. 

No, I can't help but wonder if I and my upbringing are the very reasons i am sick. In years to come & when & if humankind truly becomes enlightened then I believe they will find direct correlation to our mental state to be responsible for our physical state. I have always been drawn to tranquilisers due to me being overly mentally active and so I need something to stop the cogs at times. 

I have times where I truly just don't want anymore reality, when that reality always involves hurt. It's at those times that I draw upon the monumental struggle my parents, especially my dad, went through and i somehow manage to pull through. 

My hope is that someday soon i will be able to say I am truly happy and mean it. I am only truly content when life is simplified. My dream is to have an animal sanctuary.  That would suit me perfectly or I bekivr it would. I am most happy say with a book in one hand and a purring cat on my lap or near me. 

The more I know of people, the more i prefer the company of my pets. 

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PTFC
4 hours ago, trinity said:

Change your perception. Its your perception which creates your reality. Universal law of like attracts like..

You put out the feeling of broken, mentally unwell and hurt those are the things you will manifest. Its 100% accurate as we have seen for sometime now.

Have a read of this, its life altering if already on the path: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1401904599/?tag=mh0a9-21&hvadid=8873776733&hvqmt=e&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_49f8ihaqgs_e

I have just picked up the 3 book collection, the others are money, and the vortex (great kindle deal for the 3 incidentally) , but it is the one you quoted that interests me the greatest. Thank you for this @trinity

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PTFC

@Jools,I believe you have made a real life improving decision. 

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