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Angler andrew

Depression is like being forced to wear a cloak made of lead...

You don't get to choose when to put it on, or when to take it off. We just have to wear the fucker, regardless!

It's almost like a second skin which gradually seeps into your own, real skin and poisons everything that you used to be and more importantly 'want' to be! Once it appears, it will always be there in some form or other, waiting to attack you when you are at your most vulnerable..

Recognising depression is the easy part.. The hard part is trying every day, to fight your way through the unnecessarily sticky, awful, crappy swamp that it creates around everything in your life..

But, it doesn't have to rule your life, or even change the way you think. In fact, it can make you strong, resilient and a damn fine human being... Granted, it does make things harder, but at least it makes things interesting : )

So, as a very good friend of mine once said:

good luck, chin up and keep moving forward : )

 

~P~

 

 

Very Well put Phrenicz,I am not actually depressed in the "classic" sense but I can go for weeks feeling that a black cloud is hanging over me but  then I can feel fine for weeks/months?.

I personally pit it down to my addiction to "hard" drugs which of course can and does happen to many people with an addiction,my heart goes out to anyone that has depression through no fault of they're own!!.

Peace 

Bliss. ....

 

Yes I'll second that,no severe chemical imbalance with me either,just circumstantial depression through using hard drugs,there is a life out there that can be enjoyed with no drugs or alcohol,just need to get there eh?

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blissopifree 2

Yes Andrew depression and opiate addiction go hand in hand, before I had my addiction to opiates I was always a glass half full kind of a guy.After my usage got out of hand I found myself depressed most of the time which of course is quite obvious.

Even when I got off opiates for a year I found it SO hard to raise a smile and have a good outlook on  life .So apart from the physical pains of opiate addiction there is certainly mental issues to  overcome also.So I would say to get clean is the easy bit it's the staying clean that's the problem and a Hobby or a new pastime  is the key to living a drug free life as It's so easy to slip back through boredom.So keep on Keeping on and all the best to people fighting the fight!!!!

Peace 

Bliss. ....

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Angler andrew

Absolutely my friend,at the mo it seems like the rattle is gonna be the hardest but you're right,once done you're left with the hardest part.

Id never suffered from nerves until I got detoxed and in the rehab I was a bloody nervous wreck,my legs going non stop and that same feeling of what now,I was in rehab in Bangor in snowdonia and they asked me knowing I loved walking if wanted to join a walking group helping those with "learning difficulties"and I said no way as I couldn't see myself around them as I was very stuck in my own bubble.

Anyway after about 3 month when I was physically fit but not sleeping and bad with nerves,I took the plunge with another lad from rehab and I can honestly say it was the most rewarding thing I've ever done and I loved it and the guys and girls with learning difficulties and probs they born with,turned out to be very astute and a joy to be around,we took them on a ten mile walk up three of the biggest mountains in Wales,man you should of seen em,they were falling over and I ended up with three rucksacks at one point,when we got back it looked like theyed all been in a fight as they had cuts n bruises ect lol.

i then ended up volunteering on a large estate on Anglesey,making bird hides ect,the bloke who was my boss from national trust was an instant friend and he smoked pot,at this time I was happy in the rehab and volunteering and out of the blue I waltzed into town and watched for bag heads at chemist and I asked if they could get me one and I'd buy him one,bastard tried to do a runner but I caught him up and then smoked it in the rehab and then got caught the day after as it was obvious I'd used,piss tested me and I broke down crying for the first time in there,they actually let me stay but then I messed up on alcohol and got thrown out.

long winded story i know and make what you will of it,but you are so right the hardest part is after,I think if I'd been told it can take up to a year to get sleeping right and mentally right,I'd of stuck it out.

ive an app today to see a lady about detox and rehabs with choice of three so I really hope I an find the strength to do it.

oh and PS your humour and your general mind and outlook will come all of a sudden after some time but the real you is still there as I'm sure I am too,good luck man. 

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2earls

How's it going @Angler andrew?

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PTFC

Yeah, Andrew,  how are you doing bruv? I've finished my tr@mzzzzzzzz taper. But feel not bad considering. 

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blissopifree 2

Thanks Andrew I hope your doing well at the moment?.When I was in rehab I heard someone mention they'd used now and again while in there,well I basically stuck them in as when your in rehab it's not (grassing) it's simply trying to make sure the house stays clean as 1or 2 people dabbling can end up with the whole house using!!.

Hope you made a good choice with detox/re-habs and it looks like a few of us would like to hear how your doing ?,btw keep up the work on yourself it's the only way to get there.In re-hab they allways said there was a reason for my addiction I always said cause I liked it but I've realised I don't really like myself very much and my usage hides any worries I have basically worry about things later attitude!,never a good thing as it deffo comes back and bites yer ass!!!!

Peace 

Bliss. ...

Edited by blissopifree 2
miss spelling

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blissopifree 2

Good man PTFC good to hear you've beaten the awful opiates!!.

Btw Andrew might be in re-hab as when I was in they took my mobile phone away for the first few months and only let you make a supervised phone call once or if you were lucky twice a week!.Makes sense I suppose as the first month is the worst and god knows who you'd be calling if you had your mobile phone on hand??.

Peace 

Bliss. ....

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Broadway2282

I have struggled with depression and anxiety as long as I can remember. Sadly, in addition to SSRI's, Benzo's and Opiates work the best in managing my symptoms. 

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PTFC

Good man PTFC good to hear you've beaten the awful opiates!!.

Btw Andrew might be in re-hab as when I was in they took my mobile phone away for the first few months and only let you make a supervised phone call once or if you were lucky twice a week!.Makes sense I suppose as the first month is the worst and god knows who you'd be calling if you had your mobile phone on hand??.

Peace 

Bliss. ....

Thanks blissopifree!  I have to be honest though, I have probably picked up a mild bnzo dependence in the process. But working on that now , confident though. 

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blissopifree 2

Good man PTFC good to hear you've beaten the awful opiates!!.

Btw Andrew might be in re-hab as when I was in they took my mobile phone away for the first few months and only let you make a supervised phone call once or if you were lucky twice a week!.Makes sense I suppose as the first month is the worst and god knows who you'd be calling if you had your mobile phone on hand??.

Peace 

Bliss. ....

Thanks blissopifree!  I have to be honest though, I have probably picked up a mild bnzo dependence in the process. But working on that now , confident though. 

That's ok PTFC one thing at a time bud as usual you get off one med with the help of another then the new med becomes a little bit of a problem!!!.

But as you said you thought you'd picked up a "mild" bnz problem you'll manage that ok mukka just start a taper now bud and you'll be grand bro.Good to hear your in a confident mood and more power to ya my man!!!!.

Peace 

Bliss. ...

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2earls

I have struggled with depression and anxiety as long as I can remember. Sadly, in addition to SSRI's, Benzo's and Opiates work the best in managing my symptoms. 


Sorry to hear that @Broadway2282. If you need to talk about anything, you can see we have a lovely and understanding group of members that are always here to lend an ear and support each other.

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blissopifree 2

I have struggled with depression and anxiety as long as I can remember. Sadly, in addition to SSRI's, Benzo's and Opiates work the best in managing my symptoms. 

This is usually the case Broadway just try and be careful with the bnzs.Isn,t it always the case the things that actually help are a sod to get off of?.

Keep up the good fight Broadway sending you best wishes!!!.

Peace 

Bliss. ......

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mschrissy0909

I've been a member of this group for awhile but never found this section.... I've been taking Paxil for about 5 years... Ever since my baby died... And a few years ago, started enjoying a few opiates here and there.... And then a little more ... And while I consider myself functioning (job, kid, etc).... I'm only even remotely happy while using :(   How long did it take those of you who are clean, to feel happy again? 

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blissopifree 2

Pretty much in the same boat as yourself mschrissy in the sense I work and am a functioning addict.I have been clean a couple of times over an addiction Spanning over 20 yrs.I found the first four months to be the worst,then I was so bored as being an addict had taken up so much of my time I found my life boring?.Now I'm back on another m€th@done script after a longish relationship ended and I reverted back to what I know # opiates!!.However I intend to make this present prescription to be my last as I'm so tired of being sick and tired!!!.

Not to mention I'm getting on a bit?

Peace 

Bliss 

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sociopathicbombshell

 I am prescribed prozac. With regards to pain, I do think that depression can make you dwell on the already existing chronic pain, but, even after working in the medical profession for a long time, I'm not a firm believer that neuropathic pain being dealt with successfully using drugs like lyrica and so on. You can certainly sedate someone using seroquel and such, to the point that day stop complaining, but I would far rather deal with the consequences of withdrawing physically from pain medication rather than possibly committing suicide after a long term use a potentially unnecessary antidepressant. it always puzzles me that most have these black box warnings.. for any of you dealing with generalized anxiety disorder along with depression, I can tell you that Prozac has been successful for me for a few reasons. First, it is one of the few antidepressants that does not affect your libido. Second, it is also one of the few antidepressants that has the side effect of weight loss, rather than bloating like a drowning victim. Third, it exacerbates the effects of benzodiazepines. and finally, Unlike quite a few anti depressants, I can stop taking it if I am just simply too lazy to go to the pharmacy for a week without getting brains zaps or other strange side effects from going cold turkey.

Went off for too long. sometimes looking after yourself as your last priority. Anyway, daddy got my daughter up for school today and got her to school safely. I ended up sleeping till 5 in the afternoon and have been in tears all day. So, down the hatch the old prozac goes. I have put them out on my window sill so that I won't forget them anymore.

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