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Ringo

What's the attraction of drugs?

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Hammerblow

Like almost everyone here. I don’t think I have enough room or time to go into the attraction of drugs. I have an addictive personality that over time I’ve lestned to control but that rabbit hole will always be there. I grew up in the perfect loving family and I couldn’t ask for more. Except my mum was a manic depressive and suicidal...very suicidal. I unfortunately walked into scenes that I shouldn’t have at such a young age m, scenes out of a horror movie basically. I would always act like it was ok but I used drugs as a was to suppress what I was feeling. This only really came out a few years ago when my marriage was going to shit and I was deep with the benzos. I hadn’t confronted what made me enjoy alllll the drugs. And it is just drugs I haven’t ever been attracted to alcohol. 

 

Now im at a place where I can control my benzo intake and obviously I’m on steroids as those who know me know that’s what I do but that story is for a different day. I don’t touch anything else but I take enough of what I enjoy to escape a couple of times a week I feel if you don’t then, shit how can you exsist! Life is wearing at times and you just kinda have too. 

 

Rx

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chchtwo

Also, I think that all of these trials and tibs have left me with psychedelics as my go to now..  They have no strings attached, push it as far as you want to go, it will warn you when it's too far, and no addictions.  As much as you try to control it, it has the rulebook to enforce everything .  That's my feel good now, my experimentation.

regards

chctwo

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aintnouse

@chchtwo    Sage advice regarding the benzos.   I was using 3-4 mgs a day for about a year and a half and quitting those was the most arduous task one could ask for.  I realize that my dosage was small compared to most people but they really screwed up the receptors in my brain.  It took me a good 8 months of abstention before I felt close to normal.  The rebound depression, anxiety I experienced was very intense.  My Dr told me that for most people a year of benzo use will take a year to overcome.  For some people that will be more for some that will be less and the detox is very uncomfortable to say the least.  Out of everything I have ever quit, the benzos were the hardest.    

I only did H a couple of times and holy shit that was fun.  I was mixing it with a little yayo and I had a blast.  I was going to Fla to see Van Halen for their reunion tour like 8 years ago or something.  Earth, Wind and Fire opened up and I had an absolute blast.  That was my first and last time I dabbled with that but I could definitely see the attraction.....until the destruction sets in!!

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chchtwo

@aintnouse Yeah, benzos are sneaky and scary, looking back. Especially since there aren't that many real horror stories floating around in regular society.  They make it seem like it's such a normal path to take.  Doctor's don't help the cause, in my opinion, by liberally prescribing them without a huge warning.  I am really glad to hear you are past it.  It's huge.    Congratz.

Best regards,

chctwo

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Kaykr1
On 4/12/2019 at 4:51 AM, 2earls said:

@Kaykr1 I read your story and while I don't solicit donations from members, in your case it could be well worth the effort. If Klons are important to your well being then by donating you will have many vendors who have them and ones that can get it to you quickly.

Of course you are very welcome here donation or not, I was just thinking it might make life easier for you. 

I can relate to your story. There was a period in my life when the bottom fell out and I lost my home, job, health, savings, and relationship of over 10 years. It was awful and I would not wish that kind of misery on anyone.

The only good thing about these horrible times is that when they are over, you appreciate everything so much more. And most likely are a nicer person too, because you don't judge people in the same way as when you thought those things could never happen to you.

Time will tell if your BF is really the one for you or whether you are only with him due to the circumstances. I'm happily married now and wish I had left that long term relationship sooner, but hindsight is always 20/20 as they say.

Appreciate you taking the time to read and value your input. It’s good to hear knowing people can relate ... glad things are better for you these days.

As they always say bad times  cannot last forever ... 

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Ringo

@sweetmelissa589  I am one of those weirdos who is a natural loner. I just like being alone, traveling alone, dining out alone. I don't know if this is a social anxiety, but I feel very uncomfortable at parties and avoid them by any price. Maybe certain drugs could change it, but being alone is my comfort zone. My ideal vacation is on an inhabited island with no cell phone reception and no noises made by people. It's just a how I am, and l am like this as long as I can remember , since childhood. I grew up in a Northeast Europe, and when I was a kid wanted to be a forester in the most remote area.

@chchtwo No, I am afraid, because results are too unpredictable. 

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chchtwo

No worries @Ringo , they aren't for everyone.  In addition, many people have unpleasant experiences at some point, including myself.  I would think that going into a trip feeling super anxious or freaked out is not the best way.  It's all about state of mind.  Best of luck exploring!

Best regards,

chctwo

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Ringo

@Dickslapperman  if you had such a reaction to other dissociatives K is likely to make you vomit, too. So I don't  think you will enjoy it. Experience varies from one person to another.

I was using it IV. I am not going to be specific, but if you use this way, you have to prepare everything you need, because it acts fast. And of course you need skills. I inject, and I have literally seconds to apply pressure bandaid and lay down, before I go to another world. 

IV use was the brightest trip with the minimal amount of the substance. But if you don't have skills or don't have someone skilled with you, IM was also good. 

Again, my experimenting was a very long time ago, in a country where K was legal and not scheduled. And this is only my experience. Yours may be very different, even negative. Taken into account that K is controlled here, think twice and then twice again.

 

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