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ToddM

Help with me mom's Alzheimers

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ToddM

Hi all, 

I normally don't post much but was wondering if anyone else has or had a parent (that you are close with) who has dementia or Alzheimers.

I'm her sole and primary caregiver and I can't afford private nurse and I don't believe in rest homes, she or I can't afford one anyhow.

I'm having a really difficult time handling it as we were always very close. 

Does anybody have any advice in how to cope and handle it from my end, besides going to support groups (I, myself, have severe agoraphobia, hard to leave the house, have all of our needs delivered and (I have a taxi/uber take us to her doctor appts or ER when need be.)

I can't tell anyone I feel suicidal myself again (issue my whole life on and off) because my mom has absolutely no one else but me to care for her and no one will cover her health insurance because of the severity of ALL of her medical conditions. I called a crisis center once and all they did was tell me to call a number to get free therapy, but I said I'm agoraphobic and have problems leaving my home with no insurance and they said they couldn't do much more. Anyhow, my mom also has heart failure, on oxygen and can't walk from past back surgeries but it's her depression and dementia that I can't seem to help get her through. The hospital said the dementia will eventually turn into Alzheimers and at the rate it is accelerating I know I have an even bigger battle ahead of me very soon. The medications they have her on are not helping at all and they've been told but just suggest I toss her in a hospice. Can't do that, no money and I would never think of such a thing. 

My mom is only 60, was a beautiful model and intelligent woman at one time, everyone loved her and it is extremely difficult to watch her deteriorate on a 24/7 basis into a shell of who she used to be.

I would like a break but can't seem to even leave my house because of my agoraphobia. I don't take anything and turned down for disability myself, have no insurance to see someone for my own issues, so I just want to be there for my mother and do the best job I can.  I know I have to stay healthy to be able to care for her. 

Anyhow, thanks for taking the time to read my post.

Thanks in advance, for any help and advice you can give me.  

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susie

@toddm

i am sorry to hear your story, i hope your mom and you get caring help.

   https://alzfdn.org/caregiving-resources/2860-2/

might have resources for you.   my mom didn't have alzheimer's but while dying she did reach the point of needing hospice.   i know you are going through a lot but 'toss her in hospice' is an odd statement.    maybe it varies from state to state, country to country, but my experience with hospice was superb.   mom stayed in her home, and the hospice nurses came twice a week.  they were the most caring, loving, understanding people.    and in usa/nc where we live it was free.    they helped me manage her meds, hugged me when i needed it, even offered to sit with mom if i needed to go scream and cry somewhere.   i hope hospice in your area is equally wonderful.  https://www.nhpco.org/

always get a referral to a non-profit hospice, never use a for-profit one. 

i wish you well.

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