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Marriage is not what I'd hoped


Maybesomeday

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  • Grand Poobah
Maybesomeday

Just wondering if anyone is out there with advice on how to make a relationship better or how to survive getting out. Not ready to talk this out with real life friends, so figured I'd start here.

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Unexpected read to me as well.  I read it, took it all in and then asked myself, 'Well, what does that have to do with the price of rice in China?' - or better yet, how does it relate to Marriage is n

My wife and I have been together for 34 years. We got married when she was 19 and I was 20. We had a child on the way and I was finishing college. Throughout the 34 years there have been good times

I have been pretty quiet on here lately, as I have had a lot of personal things going on in my life that have been extremely difficult to deal with. For example, my Dad, who has two cancers, one that

Great questions. Sorry for your troubles your faced with. I too am in a similar boat as you. Married for about 6 years but can't go a week without some kind of major blow out.

Really looking forward to advise from some of you older wiser folk - besides taking more benzo's that is :)

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Just wondering if anyone is out there with advice on how to make a relationship better or how to survive getting out. Not ready to talk this out with real life friends, so figured I'd start here.

Good thread. Just remember you get what you pay for here. No leather sofa. LOL

Great questions. Sorry for your troubles your faced with. I too am in a similar boat as you. Married for about 6 years but can't go a week without some kind of major blow out.

Really looking forward to advise from some of you older wiser folk - besides taking more benzo's that is :)

Most likely not older but wise. My parents have made it almost 40 years. I can remember many knock down drag outs.
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My wife and I have the "P&G" moments.

You may ask, what the hell is "P&G."

Well, its a PACK and GO situation. We call it "P&G" now.

She's lucky as she has many places to go - friends, parents, relatives, etc. But, I, have nowhere to go aside for my office 5 miles away, thus i never pull that kind of stunt.

Btw, the "P&G" situation have never fully happened yet, but it's getting closer as the weeks go by. The routine is: Pull the suitcase out of the closet, throw a bunch of clothes inside it. Close it and briskly walk to the door pretending that you're leaving forever.

However, that's as far as it's ever got, Hope to God it never goes past that as it's not good for our young son to be stuck in the middle of of that kind of crap. That's what bother's me the most.

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My partner and I have been together for almost 18 years. Its been an up and down RollerCoaster but we still come home. Fight constantly though. You haven't lived until you hear a fa9 fight.

Butt I still love the bitchy little guy.flag6.gif

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maybe u shouldnt of been dumb enough to get married?just a thought

Wow! What a great piece of advice, Harry. Thanks for that, smuck face.

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Ok I'm trying to helpful instead of the usual boob I am. I am hard to get along witn and I will admit it. I'm selfish. I would have married my high school b/c but I loved her (yes still do) I couldn't and wouldn't. I don't care what anyone says Marrige is not easy. Its work. She is in my heart and hopes she finds the right man (I just wasn't it - Not that) she knew everything I do mean everything about me. Fantastif dancers. I'm getting emtiional thinking of Karen. She was the salt of the earth in my eyes.

Sorry forf spelling and grammer -----------> I'm pretty baked

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Ok I'm trying to helpful instead of the usual boob I am. I am hard to get along witn and I will admit it. I'm selfish. I would have married my high school b/c but I loved her (yes still do) I couldn't and wouldn't. I don't care what anyone says Marrige is not easy. Its work. She is in my heart and hopes she finds the right man (I just wasn't it - Not that) she knew everything I do mean everything about me. Fantastif dancers. I'm getting emtiional thinking of Karen. She was the salt of the earth in my eyes.

Sorry forf spelling and grammer -----------> I'm pretty baked

Thanks Sister Troub'.

You've provided me with a new positive and energetic outlook in life. The metaphor about the salt really did it for me - especially after member Harry said I was "Dumb." Never will I forget such vulgarity coming from a fellow DDG member. Heartbreaking, to put it lighly.

I think I'm beginning to like you Sister Troub'. Let's make up and forget the past fight's OK?

What's done is done.

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Just wondering if anyone is out there with advice on how to make a relationship better or how to survive getting out. Not ready to talk this out with real life friends, so figured I'd start here.

In my opinion Trust is the number one single thing that can make or break a relationship.

If you can not trust your Significant Other FORGET IT EVER WORKING.

MY WIFE COULD COME HOME AND SAY I AM GOING HERE ___________ FOR THE EVENING.

That would not raise one single flag as she is a beautiful women, many people have complimented me on her beauty. I shrug it of and THINK beauty is beyond what you and I are seeing right now.

It is also what's inside that counts as well as trust.

I WOULD SAY OK I AM GOING TO WATCH A GAME THAT IS COMING ON IN AN HOUR WITH THE BOYZ HAVE FUN AND BE CAREFUL DRIVING. IF YOU NEED ME TO PICK YOU UP IF YOU DRINK A BIT TOO MUCH CALL ME AS I WONT DRINK SO THAT YOU DONT HAVE TO WORRY.

Trust however is the number one priority bar none.

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  • Grand Poobah
Maybesomeday

Well we've had our share of P&G moments. And yes, some trust has been broken on both sides.

We've finally I think gotten to the root of some issues, and I feel we're turning a corner. I love my husband, but he makes me crazy at times. I'm sure he'd say the same about me. I'm Ok with that. I had, for awhile, thought maybe I had made a mistake. But now I see I had made mistakes, not in marrying him, but in not appreciating him enough. No more P&G moments for this gal. I hate that kind of drama.

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My partner and I have been together for almost 18 years. Its been an up and down RollerCoaster but we still come home. Fight constantly though. You haven't lived until you hear a fa9 fight.

Butt I still love the bitchy little guy.flag6.gif

Ya don't think that time I went to work at Brokeback Mountain that was a break in trust was it? Oh $#!+

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  • 2 months later...
  • Members

All I can really say is that every time I have been in a relationship, I eventually feel like I have lost myself. I'm finally realizing, after being alone all this time (been TOTALLY single almost a year) that maybe we don't spend enough time alone, trying to figure out who we really are.

I spent a lot of years trying to fit myself into someone else's life, never really taking the time to learn what makes me happy, what I really wanted out of life. The biggest question I ever asked myself was, "What do I value?". Just look in the mirror and ask. Is it Money? Is it your family? Is it your solitude? Is it drawing, writing, training dogs, parenting? If you had no responsibilities, no shackles... Where would you want to be? I think we become unhappy within our relationships when we feel unfulfilled. Expecting the other person to fill that void is not fair, and is impossible. The void is not in the relationship, but within yourself. The only problem is, you will need space (at least emotionally) in order to sort it all out.

I know it sounds cliche' , but I finally figured out that you can't make anyone else happy until you rself are happy. So, figure that out and I think the rest of the chips will fall the way they're meant to fall.

Anyway, maybe that has nothing to do with what you're going through OP, but maybe you can pick out a few new ideas.

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  • Grand Poobah
HYPNOTIC.

My partner and I have been together for almost 18 years. Its been an up and down RollerCoaster but we still come home. Fight constantly though. You haven't lived until you hear a fa9 fight.

Butt I still love the bitchy little guy.flag6.gif

I can imagine, two dudes fighting. I bet blows are thrown

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