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crump vignola

November 26, 2008

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crump vignola

This happened almost 12 years ago but if I start thinking about it I still will cry.

 I think writing about it helps a little bit; I don’t know.

I was living alone in 2008 and about a week before Thanksgiving my beloved cat suddenly started to have walking/balancing problems.  Examples: she was walking towards me on the edge of the couch like she’d done a thousand times before and the poor thing fell off on to her side to the floor.  I was horrified.  She slept with me every night and one night she fell off the bed.  Again, I was horrified and so scared.  She stopped eating.  She stopped walking.  She just kind of sat in that “meatloaf” position and constantly meowed.  I took her to this shitty vet and they basically did nothing for her.

They took a blood test and said she had some fluid in her lungs and she might have lymphoma but to be sure they would have to do an exploratory surgery.  She was a 14 year old cat and I did not want to put her through a surgery.  I took her home and brought her to a different emergency vet and they told me it would be 2000.00 dollars if I left her there so they could examine her.  I did not have that money nor did I have anyone to call and ask for help.  I took her home and she just did the “meatloaf” thing and constantly meowed and the day before Thanksgiving I made the decision to put her down.  She was obviously suffering and I wanted to end her suffering.  When I picked her up to take her she was like a limp dishrag.

I felt completely helpless and did not know what to do really.  Putting her down was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. 

So I took her to that shitty vet (it was the closest one- I lived kind of in the country and it was a country vet) and I was with her the whole time.  It was awful.  They couldn’t find a vein so they were poking her like 4 or 5 times before they found one then I watched as she drew her last breath.  I would have fallen to the floor if the vet hadn’t been there to help me stand.

To this day I feel in some ways I failed her.  I never knew exactly what was wrong with her.  It may have been something that could have been treated.  

Later that night I was outside my house walking on the concrete with only my socks and there was a wasp that had fallen and couldn’t fly so it was just hanging out on the concrete and had been there for a few days.  Well I ended up stepping on it and I thought to myself that is my cat getting me back for taking her to that shit vet. 

Thanks for anyone who reads this.  😊

 

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